Sunday, October 28, 2007
i finally told my parents about Abang. omg! omg! omg!!!
i kene soal lah. hehe. suruh ajak bawa umah. hehehe.
Abang msg, ajak i gi umah kakak dia pat Tamp. i told my mum i want to go umah kawan. she let me go. they drop me off at Tamp Polyclinic. i walked to the block behind. he was outside smoking waiting for me. i was in my white kebaya. he said, "lawa nyer....". hehe. blush. then i saw his car. kakak dia dah alik jln raya ngan her husband and kids. i told him. he was abit suprised. but his kakak and family lagi suprised lah to see me with him standing outside her house. haha. i was damn malu lah okay...... of coz i tak banyak bebual. i only speak when kakak asked me questions. she made a comment while we were sitted at dining table, "first time azman bawa girlfriend...". haha. malu seh. i so tak kene gaya. like, im 20 lah and the rest semua dah 28 and above. she asked me if my family tau i kawan ngan Azman. i said yah. then ask what im doing. i think she was shocked im so young. but her kakak very nice lah. and her family. she even gave me duit raya! OMG!! i was so malu!! i told her no need lah... she force me to take. haha. she asked abang, kalau he dah bersedia tak nak kahwin. he said, ngan kumpul lah nie. i just smiled lah. haha. seriously seh.. so malu ah.. hehe..
then, he send me to SOFIA's house. we sat in the car kejap and bebual. pasal his past, a lil about me, marriage, future. i was really glad when he said he'll wait for me. i know he used to say it before. but today, he said it to my face. i needed that. hehe. he told me not to worry. he should be worried instead. i asked why. he said, yelah u masih muda. kat sekolah tu ramai lelaki hansem. mane tau org tu dah jelak ngan orang tua nie, dia tinggalkan kita.. i told him, no one in school even notice me lah. and if that was true, i wont be with him right now. then i said you also can leave me wad.. mane tau jumpa pompan lawa, sexy, lebih baik dari kita, nanti u tinggalkan i. he buat muka geram. hahaha. farnie lah. we chated awhile more. then he said something like bini pertama tak mampu mcm mane nak tanggung bini kedua. i pushed him away and said, tanak ah.. i tanak ngan u ah. u nak kahwin dua. i tak suka nak share. then he laughed and pulled me. he said, taklah.. abih kerata i kan bini pertama i.. i said, takle..i nak jadi 1st. then we laughed. haha. merepek.
but we both decide and agree not to talk about marriage first lah. i mean seriously, still long way seh. he asked why the rush? i said, no lah. no rush. my parents just want the best for me. he understood. he said, u nak keluar ngan kawan u, u keluar. asalkan u tau to jage diri. i tak control you now. nanti bila dah kahwin baru control. hehehe.
i love hime! seriously, he's the man i need in my life! i've always wanted a man like him. and i got him!! happy seh! hahahah.
hope we will last. insyaallah... =)
the end.
Friday, October 26, 2007
Sorie im not always thr.....
so sweet right? i dunnolah. to me its sweet ah. cair gue kejap. hehe. i said its okaylah, u kerje.. then he asked then they tak kerje ke? i said some do, they meet after work. some schooling. haha. i drop hints lah so that he will meet me often too. hahah! susah sey nak jumpa. haiz. smlm jumpa pun tak sampai 5 min. he minta tolong to help him pay his car loan at OCBC. so before he go to work, met him at the taxi stand at TP, he passed me the envelope with money and his personal particulars and explain to me what to do, then he drove off. haiz...
then around 10.30, he smsed me. said he going JB now, then asked if im back from Vivo. said i just left Vivo around 10.15. am at Outram Park MRT waiting for train. he told me to jln baik2. and then i said,
okay.. have i told you i miss you?
nope
I MISS YOU!! muacks
hehe...miss you too..muacks
i love him..! haiz..... =))
the end.
more details tom. i now very tired. hehehehe!
the end.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
otw back dlm bus, bunch of kids naik bus lah jln raya. fikir bus tu bapak dorang punya agaknya. terpekik memekak. perangai mcm monyet. i was on the phone, i couldnt even hear my friend. they saw me covering my left ear trying hard to listen to the other end but drg buat dek aje. i was like irritating monkeys. then nak turun bus, this girl wanted to snap a pic of her friends lah. i was blocking the camera then she said, "alamak..........", aku turun bus terus said sorry to my friend coz the bunch of kids in the bus mcm monyet! no manners. fuck them. puki ah.
i was fucking angry lah. yang kau pun satu, org nak turun bus, yang kau diri pat situ buat ape bodoh. takde tempat lain nak amik gambar? sial betul nyer budak budak. mak bapak tak ajar. mcm nak tampar jer. kurang ajar.
bingit ah!
the end.
Saturday, October 20, 2007
smlm reached home at 1am. ive never been home that late.
so why was i late? i made the trouble to make my way to Harbour Front just to see him after his work ended at 11pm.
i had project meeting after work with friends. we ended early than previous meeting coz all of them have plans with BFs. earlier that day, he msged me lah n ask me bout my last day at work. then i told him i'll be having meeting later and prolly will be going home by cab coz i got another event the next day which required me to be at Boon Lay at 7am. he told me to give him a call when my meeting ends jadi kalau i end ard 11, he can fetch me from work. i said okay.
then, that evening, he msged me again. asked where im having my meeting. i said one fullerton. he said okay kalau i end late he pick me up. then i say nvmlah tanak susah kan u. coz he must be tired from work kan. then he said, lagi dia ckp gitu. U tanak meet i ehk? i said of coz lah nak meet. then he said den always say like that. i said yalah i kesian kan u. penat2 from work nak pick me up.
then i msged him after my meeting ended. asked lah where convnient for him to pick me up from. he said entah. and told me not to rush myself juz becoz of what he said. i said nvmlah coz my friends going off soon coz got plans with bf. then u know what he said? Dun need.. kalau gitu u leh balik sendiri kan.. haish. hehehe.. u just cross the road n wait for me at the bustop towards marina. i punya sakit hati... marah seh. dah sebulan setengah tak jumpa and when we can meet today, he asked me to go home sendiri?! then i replied him back n said nvmlah i go home myself. my friends bfs pun dah datang.i pun tanak susahkan u. i go home myself k. then he called. asked if i merajuk. i lied and said no. of coz lah! duh! here i am trying to sacrifice my time despite being very tired and hungry, just to meet him walaupun sekejap, he said like that. upset seh. then we chatted a while over the phone. i said lah, i go home myself kay? he said okay. then he asked, then bila nak jumpa? i said entah u. u lah plan. u kan bz. then he said eh, i pulak. DUH! then i asked him, u want me to wait for you not? he said up to me. i dunwan to make the decision ah. so i told him, kalau u nak jumpa i wait. kalau tak i go home. again he said up to me. asked me to decide. so i asked, u nak jumpa i tak? he said naklah. so i told him okay i wait for you. then asked mane senang for him. he said harbour front.
so i made my way there and waited for him. he asked nak alik terus ke nak sit around skejap. i said up to u. he asked wat time ive to be home. told him that i told mum i be home late. and latest ive to be home is before 12.30. then he said we go sit2 first lah. i said okay. since kita dua lapar, tak makan lunch and lum dinner, he drove to Mac Drive Thru and we bought food. then he parked somewhere further up east coast. sunyi. we sat in the car and ate. lepas makan, he hisap rokok n bebual lah sikit2 and blah blah blah. tak sedar seh dah kul 12.50am. i was like, eh, dah kul 12.50? panic kejap. haha. but we didnt want to leave just yet. peluk pun tak lepas. haha. but i told him lah i gtg now so we made our way home. then i msged him thanks for the night n i forgot to pay him for my burger. and i felt paiseh for something lah. he said dun need to be paiseh coz theres a long way to go. i asked lah what he meant. he said, wad i mean u ask... long way lah. u mean u dun wan us to last? i said of coz i wan but u can wait for me ke? he replied why not? i said mane tahu, that why i asked you. he replied haish. i felt bad lah. so i replied that im happy to be with him. that i sayang him alot and im glad to hear he'll wait for me.
hope so eh. insyaallah.
the end.
Thursday, October 18, 2007
ridzwan prolly know this lah coz i told him when i singgah his workplace during puasa.
cerita nyer begini...
hamad is dating. the girl is his army buddy nyer kawan. they met in a production that hamad helped out. hamad kate he didnt even notice the girl. so kirakan perempuan itu made the first move lah. dia budak NUS.
so, when aku dapat tahu, i was a bit sadlah. i cried. entah eh, mungkin aku ada juga lah sayang dia sikit2 kan. yerlah, kita dah 8 tahun kenal. and being the first love and all, its hard to let go kan. but i was happy lah he moved on. cume aku berasa bersalah for hurting him n his family ah. coz family dier sayang aku mcm anak sendiri, cukup masa, aku buat perangai. takle salahkan lah. hamad yang sakitkan hati aku dulu pe. i cant forget what he did to me after all these years so thats why i left him lah.
so i kinda told hamad lah how i felt but i was happy for him. tapi, aku nak tinggalkan dia for good coz i want him to move on and i want to get rid of whatever im feeling lah. dia sedih. kata dia tanak let go of the friendship lah. aku nie mcm best friend dia. very emotional lah so i cried. and i left msn. the next day, he msg me online kate dia in trouble. pasal dia bilang that girl what i told him lah. bodoh kan. and the girl is worried lah. tak suka agaknye. so, thats why i told him goodbye. pasal aku tahu how girls are like. they dont want their guy to still be friends with their ex. so i left him lah. block, delete dia pat msn, friendster. dia msg raya pun aku tak balas.
the girl pun very desperate lah. same mcm hamad. they are together now btw. i read her blog. semoga bahagia lah.
it may seem childish ah. but i cant stand knowing that my first love is with someone else. someone whom im with for 4 to 5 years. but slowly it will fade lah. hopefully. but now, i dun wish to hear or see him lah. kalau he going to join us for jln raya, aku minta maaflah kalau aku tak join korang eh.
now, my bf pulak, msg pun tanak. lagi sakit hati. kdg2 2 ke 3 hari senyap. bingit seh. dah sebulan lebih tak jumpa. the last time we saw each other was mase aku bawa kenalkan dia pat korang at Changi. sakit hati seh. dia ckp dia sayang. tapi pada aku mcm tak sayang jer. aku sabar. tapi how long can i last? theres a limit to one's patience tau.
tak faham ah. kenapa hidup aku nie mcm gini eh. tak pernah bahagia. when was the last time i was truly happy? i cant seem to remember.
nie, 26 oct to 29 he going KL with his friends ke pe. got work or wad lah. jangan harap lah aku dengar berita from him.
ARGH!!!!!!!!
the end.
Saturday, October 13, 2007
kepada semua yang mengenali diri saya, maafkanlah salah silap yang sengaja atau tidak, halalkanlah makan minum saya dan semoga persahabatan kita kekal hingga ke akhir hayat. Insyaallah..
this is my new blog. its only known to some people coz theres certain people whom i dun wish to keep in touch with. personal reasons. like my ex bf. so PLEASE do not let him know of this. theres a reason why we broke our 8 years of friendship and 4 years of relationship.
anyway, i do hope that you'll have a nice Lebaran this year. with families, friends and loved ones.
Insyaallah, we'll meet soon.
till then, take care and God Bless.
the end.