Tuesday, May 27, 2008
im like so pissed.
to someone.
if it wasnt for Dzul, i wouldnt have called your mum to ask u to call him. even your cousin gave the wrong number. so who else was i suppose to call? you knew he was looking for you. but u didnt even bother to update him on ur new number or to call him then. if u had, this wouldnt had happen. so yes. dont blame it on me. i called to tell u to call him. not to beg to be back with you. i dont see why its my fault. nor to tell me what your mum thinks coz im sure youre old enough to settle your own problems. like i said, i called coz i HAD to not that i want to!
so why did i cry?
i felt so low. have no one to turn to talk about my problems. my dreams are just dreams. my life is full of sadness. nothing turns out right. setbacks after setbacks. i cry and beg to HIM everyday. but it isnt helping. my life isnt getting any better. i just want to burst and scream my lungs out and leave this world. its been years and im still suffering. when will it end?
sometimes i wish i had a special someone whom i can turn to and make me happy. someone good enough to lead me to the right path and to nurture me to be a good muslim. but for now, i just want to get into MOE Diploma course to be a teacher so that i can make my parents and grandparents proud and happy and so that i can provide a better life for my parents. i really feel for my dad who works day and night without a day off to put food on the table. he didnt even get to spend time with his grandson. he's done enough for the family and now, i want to be a teacher to make him proud and take over his role.
Dear God, my dreams and wishes are so sincere and simple. please help me fulfill my wants so that i can be a better muslim and a filial daughter to my parents. Amin.
the end.
Saturday, May 17, 2008
wahh! penat. and so bloated! hoho. today was my day out with Azry. haha. long day at work. knocked off at 6.15pm. rushed to downtown. but the train i was in rosak so everyone got to alight and get on the next train which was super pack! wanted to cab down. but from kallang to downtown mesti mahal and doubt there be cabs coz its the peak hr! haiz. he called and ask where i am. i was at tamp by then. he just finished solat and said he will pick me up at the MRT. i said okay. haha. coz it was 7.40pm and the movie starts at 8.10pm. so yeap, met him. and punya susah nak naik motor dia. haha. coz i carried his bag and mine. and it is a DR-Z. quite high then the usual ones ive been on. so off balance when i tried to get on. haha. kelakar seh. he told me to stay close so i did. we reached there and got a drink at coffee bean coz he was abit hungry then and we still got time to waste. hehe. we watched Congkak. im not a big fan of scary movies lah. but he yang nak tgk. haha. said he akan tgk with me aje. after we sat down he asked when was my last scary movie. and i said the last one was with him too. haha. that was last year? hehe. and i tell u, the movie, buat jantung aku sakit! sound effect pun sikit nyer kurang ajar. omg. haha. and yes, i tried not to scream like what happened during the cousin's movie trip that time. but i did jump up at some point. okay not literally lah. haha. he can laugh lah. thanks eh. haha. org belakang was shouting lah. haha. we kept laughing when she did. hehe. then went to eat at BK. hehe. talked about my ex, about his students at eunos primary. haha. kekek seh. he initiated most of the convo lah. haha. but fun. tak berhenti-henti ketawa. haha. then he sent me home. reached ard 11.10? wah.. ingat pula dia that i had to be home by 11. haha. i had fun. and nolah. nothing will happen between us okay. so yah. haha. dun worry. haha.
okay. gotta slp! besok cousin wedding! omg! cant wait to see hady, fuad and blah blah blah. whee!
the end.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
just got off the phone with Dzul. my prudential agent. haha. we caught up for a while over the phone. he remembered me coz he was trying to contact hamad. hah. and guess wad. he wants to set up a HOT DATE with me with his best friend! hes old! like 30? hahah! i was just kidding lah when i said that he can intro me to some guys when he asked why im still single. but he was serious! omg! omg! told him i was shy lah. haha. duh! haha. but i said oklah. no harm in making friends kan? haha.
and im planning on a date with my friend. haha. Azry. he's my primary school friend. well. he asked me out lah. "so awak, agak2 this fri evening ade chance tak kita date awak?" haha. i went out with him once while i was with azman. azman knew. i asked for his permission to go out which i didnt need to he said. but i tot i should coz im riding on his bike. a DRZ. haha. i thought it be wierd coz the last time we saw each other was back in primary 6. and even then, we hardly talked much. coz i was a nobody back then. haha. but suprisingly, we click. we talked and laughed and had fun. haha. we caught a scary movie that day. his choice. haha. after that, we somehow tak contact and i bumped into him last saturday. haha. and he asked me out again. so, its another movie, dinner and then he will send me home. hoho.
and fahrul called me during work today. he asked me if i jadi gi holiday tak. i asked why? and he asked me, "Nak gi Phuket tak?" i asked with who and he said with you jerlah. i asked "your friends?" he said he dont want to go with them. want to go with me. told me to look up the net for places to go. he wants to go in sept! waduh. so fast. haha. aku baru start keje. and ok. face it. as if i can go! hahah!
and coz my kid cancelled tuition and i already told my boss for an early release, fadzli came over to VIVO and teman me. he trickster. trick me to going out with him. we went to secret recipe and i paid for it. haha. then he sent me home. padahal he can take bus 15 home. why? all coz i paid the bill. guys! so irritating! haha. but he didnt really send me home. i alighted at my stop and he continued his bus ride to the MRT station. forced him to do so. haha.
oklah. today its like BOYS DAY for me. haha. gosh. its 12am! better sleep! hehe.
alah.. Azry baru online pulak. haha. nak buat lesson plan agaknyer. haha. kesian cikgu azry.. haha.
the end.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
wah.. damn penat.. went shopping for a while after work. my feet is killing me!
okay.. where i work? haha
UOB Alexandra. i know. like damn far kan!! morning train to harbour front and take another bus from Vivo. wah. i start work at 9am. thank god! if not 8.30am. haha. coz since im a temp.
yah. they wanted to offer me a perm position but coz i told them im still waiting for MOE's reply, so they considered and still offered me a position there as a temp. haha. first time got that kinda response. haha. but alhamdulilah lah. at least something.
im paid peanuts however. 6.5/hr! damn sikit lah! but takpelah.. experience is what im looking for.
my office is near PSA so yes. heart pain whenever i passby. and it overlooks the sea/water watever u call it lah. haha. can see Jurong Island from where i am sitted. cool kan. haha.
im still tutoring. but need to reschedule so that it wont clash at times. haha.. but other than that its okaylah. hehe.
but so bored lah. got no friends. and semua pat sane auntie auntie. haha. cine. melayu tak ramai. but semua dah kahwin dahde anak. feel so kecil seh. haha!
the end.
wad a day.. work and rushed for tuition. haha.. my poor aching feet!
the end.
Monday, May 12, 2008
more updates tom after work and tuition kay? hoho.
wish me luck!! =)
the end.
Friday, May 2, 2008
the end.