Monday, December 31, 2007
me and eunice.
me and wendy.
me and florence.
presentation over. whee! had some cam-whoring session with my lovelies after school. went starbacks to drink and played Uno. haha. snapped more pics but its with eunice. haha.
so till then, have a happy new year everyone!
going JB now. haha. see ya!
the end.
whee~~!!
thanks lu ayy! hahaaha..
i want more tho!! hahaha!
the end.
Friday, December 28, 2007
was in school at 11am. mcm zombie. ape tak, tido kul 5 pagi. this whole week. bad. haha. did my part. ended at 12plus. dunno what else to do so i plugged in my earpiece and listen to Ria. was sleepy lah. so i closed my eyes and wonder off to lala-land for about 5 mins. the rest came at 2.30pm. so late. i was gazing up the ceiling thinking about my boyfriend. they came, and we shifted down to level 1 lab.
i didnt do anything then coz my work was done. so i copied movies and tv shows from my friend's harddisk to mine. didnt get to copy everything tho. coz.........
my boyfriend msged me!! asked me to go over his house.
suprised suprised. haha. he asked me to come over and will send me home when he's going to work. so i said okay. haha. apologised to eunice coz i told her i teman her go starbucks since i was free. but she understood my situation and let me off. hehe. love you babe!!
we left school at 6. asked my friend to wait for me till i boarded the bus safely just in case. reached his house. watched 'little giants' i think. he couldnt sleep as much as he wanted to. he lay on my lap trying to sleep but couldnt. the movie ended shortly after. determined to get some shut-eye, he asked me to go inside his room. he did in the end. haha. i slowly crept out of his room to go to the washroom to pee then read mags out in the living room. woke him up at 8pm. he mandi, siap, lipat baju kat ampai then duduk2 jap ngok tv and left his house at 9pm. he sent me home and he's off to work.
and now im here blogging. smiling. coz finally i get to meet my bf!! haha. eventho he was asleep most of the time. haha.
p.s. thanks haidir for the talk that night. i'll keep that in mind. thanks bro.
the end.
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
my new friend intro this song. nice. me love. hahaha.
the end.
Monday, December 24, 2007
pic taken just moments ago.
still bruised!! my goodness!!
im freaking bored.
just chatting with a new friend online and sms-ing Iskandar.
i need a life.
oh how i miss my bf! can i have another hug?? hurhur.
the end.
Saturday, December 22, 2007
dah sampai hospital we bumped into Ted. wierd. he was in home clothes. i just followed the guys lah. rupe2nyer, nenek yang masuk hospital lah. kurang asam betul nie budak2 bohong pat aku. i wonder why they did. haiz. we stayed till about 10pm.
they wanted to go over to Pasir Ris ader pit. they forced me to ikut but i said no. so i went home instead. penat ah. lagipun lambat sangat. kul brape nak balik. so reached home and continue watching chipmunks.
now, nak watch I am Legend lak. haha.
the end.
although i was very tired and had a splitting headache!
woke up at 10am. was late. bathe and went out to NTUC to buy the brownies ingredients. reached home at 11.30 and started baking. baked one for the celebration and one for my boyfriend. my boyfriend nyer turned out nice. looks good anyway. tak tau lak rase nyer kan. but Wan nyer crumbled coz i forgot to grease the pan. so i hurried out again to NTUC to buy more to bake another one. it was 3 by then. was suppose to go to school mind you. so i quickly baked the brownies and left the house at 4.40pm. coz my friend forgotten to bring the collage (i asked her to keep for me coz Wan was around on Wednesday), i hurried to school to print another set. i arrived at 5.30pm just in time coz the printing shop was closing. lucky the aunty was very nice and friendly. met my group members and we left around 6. went over to TM to extend my mum's bracelet and buy wrapping paper to wrap the brownies. reached home at 7.15pm. i quickly wrapped the brownies. i took wan's brownies out of the oven and i was disappointed with the results. but i didnt had the time to bake another one so i just went ahead and wrap that one too.
msged my boyfriend at 8pm. asked him if he wants to take the brownies or i go over and send it to him. took my bathe and he replied and asked when siap. i said sejak petang. the said he come and pick it up and be over in 20 mins. i quickly got ready coz i didnt want him to wait so long and be late for work. he reached at 8.35pm. went down and he asked me to sit in his car kejap and bebual. i asked him tak kerje ke. he said tak. off today. i tot it was tom. ahh.. i forgot his work schedule already. too busy. so we chatted and stuff. he asked me if i had money. i said i do. but i think my face showed a different ans. so he asked how much i said 10. he asked u nak duit tak? i said tanak ah. buat ape. he said spend lah. i said nvmlah its okay. i dont like ah guys to give me money. haha. seriously hate what he did to his hair. he permed his hair. and then put wax. rase mcm dry noodles. haha. maybe i wouldnt mind if he didnt wax his hair. and he was so cute i kept pinching his cheeks!! haha. Is msged me at 9pm. said he was already at the bus stop. i didnt read his msg till 9.10pm. haha. i told azman i got to go coz Is was already waiting for me. so we kissed goodbye and i went up to pakai tudung and grab the stuff and go.
met the rest at Tamp Int. then took the bus to Simpang. had so much fun lah! haha. we left the place at about 12am. i called dad and told him i be walking home with the rest. he said okay. so we walked. kecoh lah. haha. jln pat Jln Angin Laut. nice lah. reached Eastpoint at 12.50am. slacked around the area till about 1.35am. then made my way home. the rest walked to Tamp. i reached home at 2am. tak pernah2. haha. everyone was asleep by then. best. haha.
woke up at 2pm today. hahah. ape tak. tido kul 4 pagi. cant sleep. got up and did my laundry. was in the toilet till 3.50pm. naik kecot jari aku. now ive nothing to wear coz i just washed a week load of clothes.
i think i have a pimple growing on the outline of my lips. yucks. haha.
the end.
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
i had been depressed for almost a year now. seriously. cume org jer tak tau. its over a guy (what else is new). i met this guy online in October 2006. he happened to live in simei too. he started befriending me. and soon, he told me that he loved me. which i slowly did too. but i didnt know he had a gf until sometime later. i didnt want to be a bitch so i wanted to end it. i mean i have too. but he didnt want to let me go. he begged. he cried. he took flu pills to get high and drinks to get drunk. i felt awful. so i stayed. my weakness. we really loved each other. but we culdnt be together. things got worse from there till a big fight caused us to not contact each other anymore. i was sad i cried for months. everything i do, songs i heard reminds me of him. it was heartbreaking for me. can u imagine ive been crying for 10 months??
then, fasting month came. i was determined to get myself together and prayed for HIM to show me happiness with someone i was destined to be with. i never missed my prayers or my terawihs and each time i prayed i cried to HIM. and HE did answered my prayers. HE showed me the man. and the man is azman.
no kidding. i swear. everytime i asked HIM to show me a sign in a way that i wanted, HE did. so i was sure its azman. you cant doubt or question GOD's works can u? then, i was determined to forget my past and move on with this fact which GOD have given me.
everything was perfectly fine for the whole of september. in my other blog, my september was filled with happy moments. not a single curse word or sadness. but look at what ive been writing so far about my bf (if he still is)? i cried everytime i think of him.
i wonder, why is it so hard for me to be happy?
dont i deserve happiness? had i not suffered enough? ive been crying for a year!! ONE YEAR!! and had been sad for the past 3 years.
when will i truly be happy??
the end.
Sunday, December 16, 2007
haha. see that Fir, its not fun but TORTURE!! haha.
i was so happy that i could find time to chill after being busy with projects presentations and tests.. i lied to my mum to keluar. kate buat project but went out with Fir and his niece, Is, Lu Ayy n his sis. i went out late. haha. cant decide what to wear coz i just washed all my tops that morning and my stupid sister have not wash my black jeans. asswipe. in the end i wore something which makes me look prego. haiz. anyway, the initial plan was to go to the airport although i dunno why there of all places. but in the end, i met them at Funan then went to Pasir Ris Beach for Mama's pit. (i refuse to use that person's name)
it was painful torture i tell u! i wanted to go home lah. but Is and Fir tak kasi aku balik. kurang asam betul. mati mati nak aku pegi. dahtu takpe. make fun of me lagi. haiz. ader jer lah nie orangs. haha. i spent most of my time talking to nenek jer. hehe. yang klakar nyer, mase Nizam tanya nenek boleh duduk kat the empty stool beside her, mama kate suruh tanya tok dulu. he was so blur lah. he didnt get it until like 5 mins later after i explained? haha. lagi satu when nenek said something like korang kurang asam, nenek kurang garam or something like that, i was laughing lah but zam just stared blankly at her. hahaha. zam zam.. kelakar seram lah kau nie.
anyway, aku mati mati nak balik but Fir n Is tak kasi. haiz... in the end, aku dapat balik coz nenek sokong aku! hahaha.
hehe. Fir nyer anak sedara is so CUTE!! we were walking back to Fir's house lah. he kinda played hide n seek. and guess wad she said. 'SIOW'. hahahaha! all of us were laughing lah!! cute sia. kita ketawa dia pun ikut ketawa. suke. haha. i kinda laughed to myself bila teringat si kecik said that mase nak tidur. haha.
the end.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
u masih sayang org?
Can i ask the question back to u? Frankly, i dun feel the love ard me. There is like a communication breakdown between us. Is there anything u wanna tell me?
u think i dont feel the same? Of coz i love u. Very much. Bt i dun feel like u do.
I do but i juz dun feel it. N tell u the truth wat ur mum says still bothers me.. im juz goin wif the flow for now..
i noe u're bothered by it. Im sorry for making u feel that way. And im sorry for not msging u da past week or so. Its not dat i tanak msg bt i takut nak ganggu u. Seems like i always get u at the wrong time. I rather wait for ur msg. Sorry...
Tatz not the way it works.. i told u if i bz pon i will still reply u its only a matter of i reply u early or late.
I noe.. Bt i just dun feel good nak ganggu u.. Bt okay, i'll try n change dat.. Anything else you want me to change about myself?
Entah eh, i dun really tell people wat to do lah. Juz be wat u r tats the best. Im juz ur boyfren not more than tat, dun even noe it'll happen or not. Juz b our usual self lah k. Anyway im so used to it...
Okay.. Bt if there's anything u dun like then tell me kay.. I'll work on it. I really love u. Honestly i do. If not i wouldnt be bothered to defend u frm wad my mum n friends said. Im really sorry for everything..
I dun blame u.. but do u think u r doing the rite thing? Y do u luv me so much? We merely meet, talk or msg. Wat do u look in me. i am nothing.. Im not gud looking, not smart...
Dun say ure nothing.. I dun care abt looks. Im not pretty either. U r the only one who allows me to b myself. U were there when i was going tru a rough patch. U made me smile again. I was touched by what u did. Im a simple girl. I dun go for money or looks. Just sum1 who loves me n makes me happy. Am i wrong to love u? Or do u think i made a bad choice? Do u even want to be with me? Coz i feel like u dont.
and no reply from him.. i just feel so sad. seriously. haiz.
the end.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Why choose to assume a negative outcome in an unknown situation? Think positive.
In Detail
Are you afraid of having a certain conversation with someone who holds a lot of power over your life? There's no knowing for certain how things will go down, but why choose to assume a negative outcome rather than to assume a positive one? They could be critical, but they could also be positive. Think about it. You have to start being more creative in how you approach the unknown. Realize that you can visualize whatever you want. So hope for the best -- and expect the best, too!
huh. right.... im done thinking positive coz i end up feeling more heartbroken.
the end.
Monday, December 10, 2007
im crying not bcoz i screwed up my business intelligence test but there is no reason for me and azman to meet.
i was walking home when i got a msg from him.
abg: tgh buat pe? if u dun mind, cud u transfer the money instead i nid it lah. nak jumpa pon susah je.
when i read that i was damn angry. fuck. as if it was my fault that we never got the chance to meet. i asked you out, u gave me excuses. seriously lah. i replied him angrily. no punctuations in my text. just one word ans.
then while i was queing to deposit the money, i felt like crying. dah mcm nie, jgn harap lah aku dpt jumpa dia. dahlah tak contact org seminggu lebih. bingit ah. tak pernah seh i experience this kinda thing before. seriously. i dunno lah.
i know lah ppl been telling me to let go and move on. but theres something about him that makes me want to be with him and made me wait for him for 4 damn long years.
am i asking for too much? or did i ask for nothing at all?
i just want to slit my wrist and leave this horrible place i live in.
fuck lah. when will i ever stop crying!!!?
the end.
Sunday, December 9, 2007
sentosa trip to celebrate Haidir's birthday.
i took this. my fav pic at the moment! haha.
theres a wedding under my block. the deco is gorgeous but the chair spoils it. so tak kene. haha. oh. the video, i like... haha. got a thing with mat motor. hurhur.
the end.
Saturday, December 1, 2007
the end.