Thursday, April 24, 2008
first thing aje, he said wahh.. someone got bf seh. in an unhappy tone. i was like ape jer.. haha.
asked him if he wanna buy Iphone coz my friend looking for people to order together with her.. he did mentioned once that he wanted to but hes broke. ask me to buy for him. crazy. i dont even have enough to buy one for myself lah! haha.
then he asked, nak gi bangkok? just the 2 of us. i was like haha. when? he said entah. plan dulu lah nak gi mane. we go pulau2 lah can relax. haha. i told him abt my plan to go with eunice. haha. kepo nak ikut. bwek! haha. mcm paham jer aku nie..
then he got all egoistic and narcissistic and said, i think you are the most stupidest girl i ever met lah. i dont even know what you see in me that you love me so much lah. and i know you still do lah. comm'on.. dont deny lah. i know u still do...
see!! ego kan! haha. aku layan jerlah since ive nothing to do. and then things got more serious.
he said, haiz. if only i knew you before i met my gf eh, we would be togetherlah. we would be so happy together. everyday jumpa.. we would be engaged right now. next 2 years married. then have 4 kids. or more. but you work for 2 years first lah before staying home to take care of my kids. i will work my ass off to support the family.
i just laughed lah. haha. but he was serious. he went on and on about it. like he said im a wonderful person lah. so lovable and nice blah blah blah. he got so angry when i say im ugly and a nobody. haha. and we did however knew each other before he met his gf. but we didnt really talk lah. so yah.. haha. he regret. but its too late for all that.
and he apologised coz he still cant let me go but he have no choice. he couldnt break up with his gf coz his parents wont allow it. that is so LAME!!! seriously. so i bombared him with questions like why u say u got no choice when there is? not that im forcing him to make that choice lah but i just didnt understand why he kept saying that! so he told me about his parents and how the girls he brought home before got rejected but the current one got the approval stamp. so i asked, what makes you think that some other girls cant be as good or better than her? he said i dont know. and i didnt bother trying. why? coz he takut his parents get angry or something. but he added on and say but i think if i brought you home kan, i think they be okaylah. cume u jgn mengeyam jer. haha. hallo! im not that kind lah. haha. told him even after years with hamad and whenever i go to his house, i still sit quietly at one end okay. haha.
he kept apologising lah. coz he didnt want me to feel as if he making use of me. like when he needs something than he come and find me. i did lah initially thought of that but after a while i didnt bother lah. to me, org minta tolong, kalau boleh bantu, bantu. im that kind lah. he said he cant let me go. he still wanted to be with me. see me everyday. but he cant. so the time that he disappear, he is trying so hard to forget me but he cant. so repairing of laptop became an excuse to see me.. he sms or call me when he can..
ya. i see his point. but to believe, i'll be called stupid. i mean okaylah. i used to blame him for causing me so much heartache but nothing can be changed right? so yah.. i believe but im not hoping for anything. coz to hope is even more stupid then to believe. haha.
so yah. i give people the benefit of the doubt lah that they mean what they say. if it means that i get hurt by it, whom are we to judge? we humans make mistakes so let HIM who create us be the judge of things and befall him the punishment that he deserves.
so yah.. people take me for granted coz im nice and stuff but i believe, if im sad and hurt here on earth, im sure i be a much happier person in heaven. insyaallah..
the end.