<meta name='google-adsense-platform-account' content='ca-host-pub-1556223355139109'/> <meta name='google-adsense-platform-domain' content='blogspot.com'/> <!-- --><style type="text/css">@import url(https://www.blogger.com/static/v1/v-css/navbar/3334278262-classic.css); div.b-mobile {display:none;} </style> </head><body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/platform.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar/290315034109682231?origin\x3dhttp://where-rainbows-ends.blogspot.com', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script>
Pictures
040308 BIT Nite
Nite Out with Friends
Haidir's 21st
Karaoke with Friends
14 February 2009 with Friends

Monday, December 1, 2008



hadnt had proper sleep the past few weeks.
need to be brainwashed. get rid of all the memories.
i dont need them. been bugging me. i see images of my memories whenever i close my eyes.
i need to stop crying.
not as if i hadnt try to stop thinking abt it but i just cant. it comes naturally to haunt me.
my bad deeds. my past history.
argh!
i feel so useless. to my family. myself.
feel like im such a failure. ive never acheived anything that could make my parents proud. NEVER. my siblings, all As students. Uni grad, JC going to Uni. whereas i got 199 for PSLE. failed maths most of the time during sec and had to retook Olevels to enter Poly. and couldnt be the top 5% student like my mum wanted me too. all these while, im being compared and treated differently. and i dont think im good enough to go to NIE to be a teacher like they wanted me to. all these plus my bad deeds, i really feel like im just a parasite living in this world.
yes. ive very low self esteem. and i feel myself sinking even deeper.
did i mentioned i dreamt that i stab myself with a knife coz i was full of anger and coz i couldnt live my life? twice i dreamt abt it. betcha didnt know.

god, i need you.


the end.



Archives
October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009