so if u were guessing the something special i wanted to do for that someone special, haha, it is specially for haidir! that boy has turned 21!! Wan volunteered to help me bake. so, above was 'Operation 21 Cupcakes' for our very dear friend. haha. special coz no matter how he tries, his hair is still the same. haha. kidd bro!

our first time baking cupcakes. haha. ive been so out of touch with baking that this time, it didnt really turned out to be like i hoped for. should have stick to the familiar of baking brownies. haha. but Wan did great with the whisking coz my beater broke down while he was mixing the batter. haha. see.. that boy has muscles kay.. tho as u can see, i think he didnt like doing it. haha.

we were so bored while waiting for the cupcakes to bake in my small lil oven so we sat and chatted. and cam whored!! haha. then Ted came fashionably late. like 10plus? we were done by then. and this boy actually has the recipe to bake cupcakes and the stuff to do it! see lah! haiz... after that, we went down coz it was really late and i had 2 boys in my house without any parent. haha. so waited downstairs for Wan's mum to drive him home with Ted. think they left ard 11? yeah..

oh. and u know what ANNOYS me?? the guys teasing me with hamad. come on! ive so moved on. and he's practically engaged to that woman! so let it go man! teasing me like that is not funny kay. makes me look as if im desperately still in love with him. which im NOT! we had our moments and im glad it happened, but ive moved on. seriously. he deserves someone better. so please. stop the nonsense. thank u.

theres reasons why im not dating anyone now.
1) i have VERY low self esteem thus i keep thinking that im not pretty etc. which im really not. haha.

2) no guys have approached me. bcoz im the 'girl who waits for the man to make the first move' haha.

3) i take a long time to get over someone. thats becoz i really care for them. and i dont think its fair to date someone when i still have feelings or keep thinking about my ex.

4) im scared of changes. i like being in a familiar environment. having dated for 7 years made me that way. too used to the same thing or person. thus, dating is really scary for me.

u may not understand but that just how i feel. its not that i dont wanna date. but im just scared. ive open up my heart twice and both had been shattered. im not sure if im ready for that again. but ive definately moved on. just waiting for that prince charming to sweep me off my feet. and make me happy again. but he must accept that i will never leave my dear friends (the guys) or mind that i hang out with them coz they are the ones who have been there for me in times of my life crisis. the best friends i'll never forget. love them to death. haha. the guys would probably think thats like so sissy but hey! im a girl kay. tho ive said that imma man. haha

okay.. very long entry.. why? coz i cant bloody sleep! so i thot whada heck?! blog ajerlah..