Sunday, January 25, 2009
coz i find myself crying today.
as usual i was cleaning my room and came across old photos of him. and i felt my heart ache. and i started crying. i knew why. i missed my past. and i wanna go back and make things right. but too bad it not possible.
i knew i said i wont have a bf and i dun need one, i lied. of coz i would love to have someone to fuss over me, to love and pamper me. to be there for me.. but i just dun have one. im glad my friends have been doing a darn good job in doing so for me. but sometimes, u just need that someone special to do it for u..
entahlah. maybe im really that emotional. duh. im a girl.
it didnt help that yesterday, we went to changi point that got me reminded of Azman. and the fact that my cousin's bf walked over to meet the family for a short while before going off. then later in the car, my pakcik n makcik was like asking when's it gonna be my turn to get married. and i said i didnt have any. my aunt said my voice sounded mcm dah pasrah jer..i was like yah.. dah pasrah.. lagipun memang takde yang sudi.. then the situation felt tense. like as if they asked a wrong question. haha.
no. im not rushing to get married. im still so young. 22. marriage is far from my thoughts. but would love to have someone i can date and fall in love with for a few years before settling down.
okay. gotta go wipe my tears. cousin just called. he's FINALLY driving over to send me my big pile of work. then i can busy myself with work and not think abt this.
the end.